Shhhhhh.... Don't be afraid of the Silence!

I was listening to Obama's State of the Union Address last week and was yet again impressed with his style of delivery.   I guess it would be more surprising if I wasn't impressed considering he is the President of the United States but I can't remember being as captivated by any of Bush's speeches as I am by Obama's.


What is it that he does? Why am I so enthralled by what he's saying when a lot of what he is saying doesn't have much to do with me or my day to day life?  Surely, you only listen to a message when it's relevant to you or will have some impact on your life?  Well, no! I must admit though that if you ask me what he said then I'd struggle to remember all the content; I do remember certain points he made and this is purely down to how he delivered it.


The magic ingredient to Obama's speeches are the pauses...... Just taking the time to let the message sink in, look around at the audience and make that connection with them again, allow a round of applause if a salient point has been made.  
It made me realise that we don't pause enough in life to just look around, let alone when we speak.  Generally our brains are working too far ahead of our voices which can result in some embarrassing outbursts - believe me, I know!  A trusted and dear colleague once told me (after one such incident) that when words are omitted or Freudian slips are made, it's the sign of someone who's just too intelligent - the brain is working at 100 miles per hour which is a good thing!  I took the 'compliment' but at the same time I knew I just needed to pause...... and enjoy the quiet.


Having the right pace is important as well - you cannot rattle off a quick message then pause, look intently at everyone in the room and then start again at a million miles an hour.  I have listened to people who deliver their presentations in such a way and I leave the room feeling drained; I've had to spend so much time keeping up with the pace and making sure I was at least looking engaged when the stare goes round the room, that I had totally missed the message and had no clue what was said.  Imagine if that was a sales pitch and I was the decision-maker... it would be a "no"!


A relaxed, formal, personalised style is key.  It sounds great on paper and I am the first to admit that it's not easy in practice but it's possible!  Here are some suggestions to help you enjoy the quiet:

1. Structure your message/presentation around key points: have punchy statements that lend themselves to natural pauses; use the pauses wisely though as you don't want it to be too staccato or jagged. Listening to Obama, he pauses after every two or three sentences which works for him but you need to see what's best for you and the message you are giving.  Remember, it should aid understanding not make it more complicated for the audience.
2. Remove the fluff: if you're using Powerpoint slides, limit the points between 3 and 5 on any one slide; keep the font at a minimum size 24 and remove unnecessary borders or images that do not strengthen the message... it is simply a distraction.  However, sometimes 1 image is all you need on a slide to make a point, and sometimes you don't even need to speak!  Look for those opportunities as they really work!
3. Pitching the voice: when you do use pauses bring the voice up at the end, it keeps the audience's attention through the pause and tells them that something important is coming... keep them hanging...... but not too long! 
4. Make eye contact with the audience: whether it's a group of 5 or a room of 100, don't be afraid of looking at people and making that connection, it engages them and makes them feel the message is for them.  It also tells you how your presentation is going - if most are asleep then maybe you need to pick up the pace or change tack; if they're looking at their blackberry phones or iphones, then throw a question out there - you may not get an answer back but people will start to listen again... Take the time to look.

Last piece of advice is to watch Obama's speech, if you haven't already -  you'll see what I mean!

State of the Union Address, 25 Jan 2011

Speak Up!

One of the things I noticed when I was hiring for certain roles was people's reluctance to speak up.  During interviews people would mumble, look down at the floor, slink down in the chair so their chin was virtually on the table and speak quietly.  This made it very hard to understand what the applicants were saying as they mumbled so much and really didn't make me want to hire them, no matter what great education, experience or jobs they had previously.

Mumbling isn't just frustrating for the listener but it gives the impression that the speaker does not care, lacks confidence and has little to say.  Typically, especially in an interview setting, this is not the impression you want to leave!

Here are 5 tips to avoid mumbling:
1) Slow Down - pause, take a breath, allow the silence..... slowing down thoughts and speech is the first step to being a clearer communicator.  Speaking more slowly allows you to enunciate words fully and not be tempted to drop the endings (gettin', runnin') known as elusion; or combine words with the 'intervocalic r' ('her_reyes', as opposed to 'her eyes'). We also let our thoughts get ahead of our mouths and before we know it, we've said something we shouldn't have!
2) Practice Enunciation - if you know there are words you struggle enunciating then practice saying them correctly, especially before an important meeting or interview.  Over-exaggerate the enunciation, practice in front of a mirror so you can see which articulators you are using and get used to the way they work together to pronounce the words.  NB: Check the spelling of the difficult words in a dictionary first to make sure you have the correct spelling.
3) Speak assertively - you don't need to shout your message out there but speaking assertively and projecting the voice forward will get people's attention.  Let's face it, generally it is the people who speak the loudest who get the job/praise/exposure.  It needs to be carefully handled though as you don't want to be known as the 'loudmouth' or people to think you have a hearing issue!
4) Sit up straight - sit with your back against the chair, shoulders back, head high and feet on the floor.  Keep the throat and air passages open and avoid hunching over as this restricts your air flow and ability to get enough breath into the body to support you as you speak.  It also looks a lot more professional and impressive than being hunched over in the chair and will make you feel more in control as well (even if you don't feel it!).
5) Practice pitching - whether you're in an interview, having an important conversation with the boss or giving a presentation, practice, practice, practice.  Find a trusted colleague, friend or family member to practice in front of and give feedback or if you have the technology, record yourself as you have the practice conversation/pitch.  If you don't know how you sound, it is imperative that you record yourself talking so you can hear what everyone else does.  You might be surprised....

The Golden Rule to avoiding mumbling is being confident in what you are saying and using your body to convey this confidence - standing or sitting with shoulders back, head held high and direct eye contact.  Depending on the situation you are in, the nerves may be there so the shoulders tense, the throat constricts and the voice gets shaky. Deep breaths, pausing and relaxing are key to getting through this but we all know, it's not always that easy!

Remember - speak slowly, enunciate and sit up straight.

Unleash Your New Voice!

Welcome to the weekly blog about communication and how you can make your voice work better for you!


How you sound, the words you use, the way you speak all project an image of you and can sometimes give the wrong impression.  It's important you choose the words carefully, say things correctly and look after your voice.  Just as carpenters or builders look after and upgrade their tools, you should also look after and develop your voice, especially if you use it everyday which most of us do.  Warm-up exercises, extending the pitch range, developing resonance and projecting with care are all ways to do this and can be done easily and quickly.   


Once you know how to and realise the benefits from doing it, it becomes second nature.  As they say, success speaks for itself.


Check in each week as I share with you different exercises and routines to bring richness and clarity and help you unleash that new voice!